Relationships – they can be the most uplifting things in the world, but at the same time, they can also be deeply depressing when things aren’t going great.
Part of being in an adult relationship is learning how to deal with any problems that arise and working out a plan of action with your other half. A relationship is essentially a partnership and what do partners do? Well they face problems head on and if there’s an issue, they figure out a way to fix it and make it through the hard times so they can ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after (until the next issue arises that is, then they just repeat their actions and hope for a good result once more).
So what are the three most common relationship problems that couples face on a regular basis and, more importantly, how the hell do you go about fixing them?
Problem One: We Don’t Talk About Our Problems
Solution: If you want to avoid turning a simple problem or issue into a massive fight then the best thing you can do is be open and honest with himself and encourage him to be the same way with you. If he does something that deeply annoys you or frustrates you, instead of snapping a haughty ‘I’m FINE!’ at him and letting your issues stew until they explode in the form of a screaming rant at a later date, simply sit him down and TALK to him.
If you have an issue, bring it up immediately before it becomes this big deal. Discuss the problem in a mature matter (this means no blame, just simply state how you’re feeling and why – simplicity is key). Letting him know what your problem is makes him aware of it and gives him a chance to explain his side of the story, such as why he keeps doing that thing you hate.
Honesty and communication is key here.
If you have a problem in your relationship, it’s always best to talk about it immediately.
Problem Two: We keep arguing about the same things.
Solution: Generally if you keep fighting about the same thing, it means that the issue has never been resolved properly. If your temper keeps flaring every time you try to address the issue, then consider writing a letter to your other half and ask him to do the same. Read over the letters, have a think about what he’s said and then set a time where you can both sit down and have an honest conversation.
Set a timer for an hour or however long you think the conversation needs to be and agree with your man that neither of your will lose your tempers during this designated time frame.
Continue to set the timer and talk every single day until both of you are confident that the situation has been resolved for once and for all. Negotiate and work together to figure it out for once and for all.
Problem Three: One of You Has Gone Off Sex.
Solution: Your sex drive will naturally go through high periods and low periods, however if sexual desire has died away completely, then it’s generally a sign that something is wrong. It can be a tricky topic to discuss, but again, it’s important to be open and honest. Remember – you both want what’s best for the relationship, so instead of seeing him as an enemy, see him as someone who wants to work with you rather than against you.
First things first, consider going for a medical check-up. If one of you loses your sex drive it could be due to an underlying illness such as stress or depression or something else. If your sex life has started to die because one of you recently lost your job or had a death in your family, then simply offer support and give it time – this kind of loss of desire will usually return at its own pace.
If your loss of desire is down to boredom in the bedroom, simply talk to your partner and suggest a few things you can do as a couple that might help – maybe book a weekend away or splash out on some sexy lingerie.
Remember, the worst thing you can do is put pressure on yourself or your partner if your sex life starts to dwindle. Adding pressure to the situation will just make anxiety levels rise and that’s the last thing either of you needs.
