Gaeilge, am I right?
We only studied it for 14 years, so naturally most of us still aren’t fluent and can barely string a sentence together.
The Leaving Cert Irish exam was hard enough, so regardless of doing honours (nerd) or pass (legend), a large amount of utter muck was spewed out onto that page.
Some of the phrases (that I can still remember) make very little sense and it’s time their blatant flaws were exposed. WHEN in your life would you honestly say ‘A friend’s eye is a good mirror’?
1. Tá mé ar mhuin na muice
This literally translates to ‘I’m on the pig’s back’. “Hi Kate, how are things?” Couldn’t be better Linda, I’m on the pig’s back. “Sorry?” Yeah I’m grand thanks, you?
2. Dia is Muire duit
‘God and Mary be with you’. Forget about Joseph, apparently he’s irrelevant.
3. Tá an fhadbh seo chomb sean leis na cnoic!
‘That problem is as old as the hills’. The Hills first aired on US television in 2006, so it’s actually only ten years old.
4. Ar nós na gaoithe
‘At the speed of the wind’. Lads, I wolfed into that dinner at the speed of the wind. “There’s actually no wind out there today Ciara, it’s completely still”. Oh yeah, fair enough. I ate it quickly so.
5. Ná gabh bean gan locht
‘Don’t take a wife without fault’. Wrong. We should all be perfect. This is an unrealistic standard to maintain and seriously conflicts with our inner desires to have zero faults.
6. Is í an eorna nua tú a fheiceáil
‘Seeing you is like seeing the new season’s barley’. Yeah, thanks Graham. But as I’ve said countless times, we’re probably just better off being friends, mostly because you say weird shit like that.
7. Is maith an scáthán súil charad
‘A friend’s eye is a good mirror’. INCORRECT. A friend’s eye is a terrible mirror. Have you ever tried to put on liquid eyeliner using your friend’s goofy face as a mirror? Impossible. The only thing that’s a good mirror is a good bloody mirror.
8. Giorraíonn beirt bóthar
“Two people shorten a road”. What? It’s going to take several construction workers tirelessly working for several days to successfully and safely shorten a road.
9. An té nach bhfuil láidir ní folair dó a bheith glic
“Whoever is not strong must be clever”. BURN. Or, just be gorgeous. As I’ve found, stunning people do very well for themselves.
10. Gheibheann pingin pingin eile
“A penny gets another penny”. There’s a very strong chance this is how the banks got into such a mess during the boom.
