It’s impossible to understand how children manage to live a normal life after parents used some of these gems to explain themselves. We really will believe anything when we’re young. Here are seventeen lies parents tell children on a daily basis…
1. “Santy won’t come for Christmas”
Hitting them where it hurts, presents and Christmas.
2. “We’re nearly there…”
No, we’re bloody not! We’re miles away!
3. “Don’t drink water from the toilet sink, there’s spiders in it”
There’s WHAT!
4. “Don’t pull faces, if the wind changes you’ll get stuck like that.”
Permanent smiles on our faces then.
5. “I’m turning off the TV, you’ll get square eyes”
My Mom told me I will get square eyes if I look at the TV for too long. No really, that’s a fact.
6. “The Man Will Get You”
Oh JESUS! Which man? Where is he? Is he in my wardrobe? WHAT MAN!?
7. “No sweetheart, if the ice-cream truck is playing music, he doesn’t have any ice-cream left”
Not even a cornetto?!
8.”If you swallow chewing gum, it will stay in your stomach for 7 years.”
Yes, even with that stomach acid.
9. “The dog has gone to the farm”
We still want to believe this one.
10. “If you pee in the pool, it will change the colour of the water”
You will cause a holy show.
11. “If you eat the seeds of an apple, a tree will grow in your stomach”
The horror.
12. “I won’t be mad if you tell me the truth”
Man, we fell for this one over and over and over again.
13. “We found you under a cabbage patch”
No, not your toy. We found you, as a baby, under a cabbage patch. Cowards.
14. “Eating carrots will help you see in the dark”
No, NIGHT VISION GOGGLES will you see in the dark. Not bloody carrots.
15. “You’ll catch a cold with wet hair”
What? Everytime?
16. “Spinach will make you stronger”
SOMEONE has been watching too much Popeye. Not pointing any fingers…
17. “If you don’t come now, I’m leaving you here on your own”
That’s a serious child abuse case there.
Hat tip to the Tom Dunne show for the inspiration!
