Primary school wasn’t really that difficult. Our priorities included having a neat desk, learning a few prayers/poems off by heart and making sure your colouring pencils were always sharpened to perfection.
But what about those days when something went wrong? You might have forgotten your lunchbox or your drink might have spilled in your bag. Disaster.
Here are ten little things that would instantly ruin a primary school day.
1. The Fear Of Forgetting
If you forget your essential for the day. This could be your potato for the sports day, your runners for PE, your costume for the play rehearsal. Absolutely nothing is worse than the fear that would grip you when you realise you’ll be the one on the sidelines watching the aforementioned activity. How dire.
2. Disaster
You fall in the yard.
You’re convinced there are stones stuck in your blood.
3. The Fear Of Forgetting #2
You open your bag and all you can see is your maths book and a copy. You have a sudden vision of your full lunchbox alone on the kitchen table at home.
You know your lunch today will be the apples that your classmates won’t eat from their own lunchboxes.
4. Definition Of Embarrassing
You call your teacher “Mum”/”Mammy”/”Dad”/”Granny”/”Nana”… How embarrassing.
5. Count Yourself Lucky
Your flask spills in your bag. Everything is soaked in diluted orange juice. Your book pages are all stuck together.
Just count yourself lucky it wasn’t yoghurt.
6. Cue The Wooden Spoon
You rip a part of your uniform and you know you’re going to spend the evening running away from Mammy’s wooden spoon.
7. The Fear Of Forgetting #3
The “cigire” is in. You’re asked a question by the teacher and you don’t know the answer. Cue: the horrors.
8. Damp Dog
You fall in the yard or spill something on your pinafore. You have to wear one of the secondhand pieces of uniform from the store cupboard. It smells like damp dog.
9. Fake Note Fail
You were old enough to fake a note from your mam as to why the homework wasn’t done. You weren’t old enough to perfect her signature or spell “apologies” correctly.
10. Greatest Disappointment Ever
Your class was promised a video. Success! Except the teacher can’t get the video to work…
It’s the greatest disappointment known to a primary school child.
