Last week, a study published in the European Journal of Personality claimed that playing hard to get could be the way forward when it comes to building long-term relationships (yes, like you, we were also surprised at this news).
Basically, researchers conducted an experiment which revealed that people who play hard to get actually increase the demand for them amongst members of the opposite sex. These game-players were dubbed to be more attractive and desirable than people who chose not to play games.
We have to admit, it got us thinking. We’ve been told so many times that when it comes to matters of the heart, you should just be brave and honest and tell the other person how you feel. In fact, many times (either through personal experience or witnessing our friends go through it) we’ve seen how playing hard to get can actually have the opposite effect and actually lead your crush to believe that you’re not interested in him. Like, at all.
So how exactly do you play hard to get? Here are three tips, endorsed by relationship experts, that will help to pique his interest and keep him guessing.
Having a ‘full’ diary is one of the easiest ways to play hard to get
Rule number 1: Be busy
Okay, so you have your eye on someone special. There have been a few flirty exchanges and he’s finally asked you out. If you’re planning on playing a little hard to get, then don’t respond with “Of course I’ll go out with you. I’m free right now!!!” instead, make him work for your time a little.
Tell him you’re busy. It’s as simple as that. Apparently men are hardwired to love a little bit of a chase, so the more you turn him down, the more appealing you’ll become. Although be warned! Relationship experts advise turning him down no more than twice – otherwise he could start to lose interest and think that you don’t like him.
Rule number 2: Have other options
Even if you’re crazy about your new crush, remain open to other potentials in terms of dating. Unless you’re 100 per cent sure that you’re going to end up marrying him, don’t limit yourself to your crush after two dates.
If someone else asks you out (and you haven’t had the “exclusivity” talk with your crush yet) by all means, go. The extra competition will get him to decide if he’s interested in making things more serious with you or not. If he runs, chances are he only wanted something casual. If he stays and tries to win you over, then he could be looking for something more.
Rule number 3: Ditch the games after an appropriate amount of time
Once you’re in a full-on committed relationship with your crush, quit your game playing. Now, we’re not suggesting that you give up your independent life and immerse yourself in all his interests, but once you have him, there’s no need to act busy or flirt with other men.
That being said, it’s important to maintain your own life when you get involved with someone new. By doing this, you’ll be able to bring new things to the relationship. If you immediately ditch all your passions and stop going out with your friends, your relationship could suffer. Remember: he fell for the independent you, not the co-dependent version.
