In a new weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.
From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow one girl’s attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that she finds along the way!
Week Thirteen: Blind Date
Last Friday, something unusual happened.
As I was about to clock off for the Bank Holiday weekend, an email popped up in my inbox from a name I didn’t recognise with the subject line ‘Shifty First Dates’. Thinking it was another one of your hilarious stories, I eagerly clicked in but as I read the opening line “Right Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw, whoever you may be… you’re a woman of the world and you seem like a bit of craic as well so hear me out just for a minute”, I soon realised that this was a different type of reader email.
Rather than someone reporting a date, this was someone asking me out on one.
Having seen a link to the blog on Facebook and reading up on my past articles, Mr Anonymous decided to take matters into his own hands (so to speak!) and emailed to inform me that I had been looking in the wrong places for a decent man and should instead take a chance on him.
This being quite the unconventional and unexpected turn of events, I’m not sure quite sure how to proceed. While I admire his forthright approach, I’m not sure that I’m entirely comfortable with dating someone who has been reading a blow-by-blow account of my recent love life and is eager to get involved. Let me know what you guys think!
In other news, Skinny Jeans and I have yet to find an available time to meet up and judging by our increasingly sporadic texting, it’s starting to look like that ship has sailed. While he seemed like a nice guy, it’s hard to maintain that initial chemistry when your communications consist solely of text characters and emoticons!
Tinder has been taking a backseat in recent weeks, as my offline lovelife (which includes a few other developments that I haven’t yet filled you in on!) has been a bit busy.
Truth is, I’ve started to lose my initial grá for the app. A combination of hearing stories about cheaters and the lack of any real originality in most Tinder-based conversations has left me a bit bored so for the time being, I’ll be sticking to face-to-face communications only!
Having discussed it with a few friends, one of the main problems with apps like Tinder is that they take the romance out of dating. Now, I’m not talking about the hearts, flowers and lavish dinners type of romance but simply having someone act like a gentlemen, of which the modern definition seems to include refraining from talking about your bowel movements or sex drive until you’ve at least met someone for a date.
Call me old-fashioned but when in the hell did sending someone a nude photo or a selfie of your genitals become an ok move? While the drunken confines of a sweaty nightclub might not exactly be The Notebook territory, at least the chances of someone dropping their trousers during a Rihanna song are quite minimal!
But while I may have given up on Tinder (at least for now!), some of our readers have slightly more inspirational messages and we’ve gotten a few lovely emails over the last few weeks and months.
Here is one of them!
“To say I can relate to your blog is an understatement! I am a self confessed Tinderella! I first started using the app back in October, partly out of sheer boredom, and partly because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. That first day I downloaded the app, I spent all day swiping left and swiping right. Getting a great lock out of the new matches.
The first guy I got talking to really grabbed my attention. A charming young graphic designer. We texted non stop for three weeks solid, we tried to arrange a date, but something always came up. In the end, he told me he had a kid. This didn’t hugely bother me, but after I did some investigating, and admittedly, some Facebook stalking, I discovered that the man wasn’t even single. I cut connections with that one fairly lively!
After a month or so, I went back on the app and encountered another lovely chap. With blinkers on, I approached the first date with caution. A casual affair whilst taking a break from Christmas shopping. Met up for a hot chocolate and a chat. Things progressed well and there was a second date. In between dates, we texted from morning until night, needless to say, I fell hook, line and sinker. The second date went swimmingly. He cooked me dinner and we watched a DVD. I left that night with the belief I’d see him again on St. Stephen’s Day. After I left, I didn’t hear much from him. Maybe one message per day. I instantly smelt a rat.
So, on Christmas Day, I texted him to wish him a Happy Christmas. What I got in return ruined my Christmas. ‘Hey, sorry I haven’t been on to you much over the past few days. I was out on Sunday night and bumped into the ex. We’re back together. Sorry. I’m an a**hole.’
Another break from Tinder was needed after that. But I was back with a vengeance before the New Year. I was chatting to some boys, but none really caught my eye. There were a few dates here and there, but my heart wasn’t in it. Until one day in early March when I stumbled upon a very handsome
Australian. I swiped right, and so did he. When we matched, I sent him a cheeky message saying: ‘G’day’ and he replied. We were texting for a week or so and set a date to meet. We met for dinner and drinks, and have virtually been inseparable ever since.
After that first date, I saw him every day. Explored some of the country with him, experienced Dublin on Paddy’s Day. He’s now met the parents and the best friends and we are officially BF and GF. This Tinderella has met her Prince Charming. Here’s hoping one day you’ll find yours!”
We want to hear your dating stories! Email hello@her.ie or tweet us @Herdotie with the #shiftyfirstdates.
