Earlier this week, our government announced that they will be introducing a broadcasting charge which will extend a fee to every household, whether they own a TV or not. So we began to wonder about the areas the government has not copped on to taxing yet…
1. Walking
Look at us all there, walking around every day, free as you please. Surely there are some number crunchers who are sitting in their plush offices watching us every day and thinking “If we could just find a way to make money from their every step.” Honestly, they could make billions, the national debt would be cleared and then they can find other ways to tax us when we try to limit the walking about. Free to walk? Ha! Ludicrous!
2. Going to work
Yes, well they do tax everything you earn in work. Yes, even if you earn nothing, they’ll still try to find a way to tax that too. But what if we tax people for getting up in the morning and going to work? That’s a real fool proof plan there. Everyone has to go to work at some stage. Yes, we’ll even tax work interviews.
3. Sitting Down
They could possibly be on to something amazing with this one. Everyone has to sit down! Kids, dogs, babies, cats … They’ll post officers (more people employed) all over the country and soon as your arse is anywhere near within sitting distance of a couch, they’ll be there. Waiting.
4. Talking
And sure don’t we love to do the talking! All of us, all four and a half million, have kissed the Blarney Stone. Wait, have they considered looking into taxing kissing the Blarney Stone? That thing has got more action than Taylor Swift. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Two words equals ten cent. Cough it up.
5. Drinking and Eating
We know there is a tax on food and alcohol and we certainly have a fondness for both, but they next tax they might consider could be the physical acts of eating and drinking. This one will be way easier to police, they can make the restaurants and pubs do it by customer. Although, there is the worry of driving the hospitality trade underground… But then that’s more criminals, more cops, more prisons, everyone wins.
6. Waving
Yeah, too right they saw you, waving up a storm to your pal across the road. A queen type wave carries a tax of about a euro but you waving like a Muppet in pain will seriously clock up a fee. Saluting people in cars? They have you on camera with a big guilty head on you. You just couldn’t resist.
7. Driving
Yes, they have taxed your car, your petrol and the actual purchase of your vehicle but the just getting into your car in order to drive somewhere is an area that is virtually untapped. There could even be some sort of charge for getting into a taxi, not just the taxi fare. How they have not thought of this before is a mystery.
Let George Harrison tell you all about it…
