Before anyone says anything, I just want to clarify that I am a hopeless romantic and love nothing more than a cheesy gesture that signifies how much one person cares for another.
In saying that, I have to admit that I feel that the meaning of the marriage proposal has been lost amid a torrent of flash mobs, Love Actually-style cards and outrageous pranks.
Surely the gesture ought to be about love, not YouTube hits or Facebook ‘Likes.’
For me, a proposal is a private moment that ought to be shared between two people. Of course, if they want to share it with others, that is completely their choice and I can understand why some do choose to involve their family and friends.
However, doing that and then sharing it on YouTube with the rest of the world? That, I have a little bit of a problem with. That, for me, is not about demonstrating or celebrating the love that you share, it’s about getting attention.
All of a sudden, I find myself thinking did he/she just propose to become an internet star? Is the method in which they’ve decided to pop the question really for the person they can’t imagine spending the rest of their lives without or is it for the millions of people watching?
Don’t get me wrong, I have welled up at many a proposal video. I have found more than a few of them incredibly sweet (hopeless romantic, remember). But I feel people (some, not everyone) are simply trying to outdo the last proposal video that went viral.
The sentiment and the love has been lost somewhere along the way, along with the truly original proposal ideas.
If my other half organised a flash mob to serenade me with John Legend’s All of Me before holding up a giant piece of card with the words “will you marry me?” scribbled on it in a candlelit setting surrounded by everyone I know, I’d want the ground to swallow me up. (Mind you, I’d still say yes because the way in which he decides to do it isn’t important in the grand scheme of things.)
Maybe it’s a personal thing. Maybe I’ve become cynical. Or maybe I’m simply too private a person to appreciate an extravagant proposal. I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t shake the feeling that people have lost sight of the reason they are getting down on one knee. It has become more about the method, not the gesture itself. It has become more about the hype, not the important fact that they are making a promise to each other.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t go all out or that proposals can’t be fun and over-the-top. I’m also not saying that people shouldn’t record their marriage proposal so that they can savour the moment for years to come, or that they shouldn’t share said video on their social media accounts because they’re obviously happy and want to share the news with others as well as hold onto one of the biggest events in their lives.
But to actively push it online seems to be a little at odds with the meaning of the act. In saying that, I could well end up eating these words…
