Forget the traditional tinsel and weird little tinfoil ornaments you made in primary school.
It’s time to make a more practical Christmas tree. One that you can admire, but also use to better yourself, resulting in a happier and more efficient day-to-day life.
Check out this essential list of PCTDs:
Conditioner – Just because your liver will suffer this Christmas, doesn’t mean your hair should! Simply wash your hair as normal (two rinses, you lazy lump), nip downstairs and grab a bottle from the tree, then apply conditioner at your own discretion. 
Don’t forget to pop it back onto the tree for the next lucky lady.
Avocado – Christmas is a time of indulgence, and what better way to keep your hefty seasonal calorie intake on track than with several 160-calorie snacks. It’s also a useful way to keep track of time this holiday season, because in the space it takes the avocado to ripen, you’ll get all your shopping done, refurnish the house, and start and finish an entire 10-year money saving scheme.
TOP TIP: Paint your avocados fluorescent purple so they don’t get lost on the tree.
Maura Derrane – The nation’s sweetheart will obviously be in all our hearts this Christmas, so why not invite her into our homes as well?
Doesn’t she look elegant perched on the tree?
*Festive* Fire Extinguisher – As we know, around Christmas, things can quickly get out of hand. Mam has lit a ‘Christmas Eve’ Yankee Candle awfully close to the quirky Disney wrapping paper and now Mickey Mouse is slowly burning to death. Not to worry, simply unfasten the FFE from your tree and carefully break the seal, quickly figuring out how to operate the extinguisher to save Christmas.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, don’t be caught without your FFE!
Sudoku – It’s important to flex your brain as well as your stomach this Christmas, and what better way than by trying to squeeze numbers 1-9 into tiny little boxes. It also paves the way for an exciting game called ‘How Many Different Ways Can My Family Pronounce Sudoku Until It Leads To An Argument?’
“It’s SUE DOKU! The inventor’s name was Sue”
Copy Of Bunreacht Na hÉireann – With all the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to get carried away at this time of year and forget what truly matters – your familiarisation with the fundamental law of Ireland, which asserts the national sovereignty of Irish people 🙂
More like Funreacht Na hÉireann
Tempura Prawns – Aside from looking the part, Tempura Prawns are a delicious alternative or accompaniment to the traditional Christmas turkey and ham. Their shape means they’ll hang from any tree in a most elegant fashion, not to mention the delicious aroma that’s sure to fill the house mere minutes after hanging them.
#Prawnstars
Giants Causeway – You’re going to be looking at your Christmas tree for up to four weeks, you might as well make it gorgeous! Only a fool wouldn’t have theirs decorated with roughly 40,000 interlocking basalt columns. To arrange your Giants Causeway decorations, simply contact the National Trust who will be thrilled to facilitate your realistic and entirely feasible query.
National Trust us on this one!
Simply put all the aforementioned decorations together and you’re guaranteed to have a stunning tree this Christmas, check out mine below.
