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25th Jun 2013

Do I Have To? Nine Reasons Women Secretly Dread Attending Weddings

We love them, but we dread them...

Sue Murphy

Sure, we all get excited in the lead up to the day but there are certain aspects to attending a wedding which sometimes don’t make it that fun. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good party as much as the next person, but there are a few things to worry about…

1. The Hen Party

Depending how close you are to the bride, you may be required to attend the hen party. However, this can be nearly as stressful as the wedding day itself. If you’re not into “L” signs and pink tassles, this might not be the event for you. Inevitably you will agree to go when you find out the event is in Blackpool. No one will find you there. Also, you don’t really know that girl you are sharing with…

2. The Dress

And you thought the bride put a lot of preparation into her dress! You are attending the entire wedding, so you need something you can wear all day and will endure a night of Rock the Boat on the dance floor. Even if you are just attending the afters, this is hugely stressful.

3. The Fake Tan

The last time you wore just your legs out in public, they reflected the light, pretty much like an ice cap so no wonder you are slightly terrified about the fake tan. Of course, you forgot to make an appointment so it’s general panic and then there’s the streaks to worry about, or the fact that you look a little on the orange side.

4. The Date

If you are in a relationship, it is already written into the contract that your partner must accompany you to any of these kind of events. If you are single, you will inevitably invite a friend and then worry that they are getting the wrong impression.

5. The Present

You know that money is probably the best present, but besides the fact that you are almost broke, it is a pretty impersonal present. Cue Make N’Do panic.

6. The Money

So you accepted the invitation and you are mostly ready to go, but you have just realised that at this stage with all the fake tan and dresses and hen party, you have already spent in or around €500. That wouldn’t be too bad if you didn’t have to pay for the hotel… and the drinking at the afters. Oh dear, file for bankruptcy.

7. The Location

Sorry, WHERE is the wedding? You have never heard of that castle. You will have to rent a car to get there, and you won’t be able to drink because you are driving back the next day. Unless you stay another night, but you can’t afford that because of the nails and hair you got done during the week. Oh dear.

8. The Awkward Ex

You share a number of friends with the couple that are getting married, so the guy you met through them will be at the wedding. Unfortunately, you broke up and now you are going to have to face him again. The wedding couple are so nice putting you both on the same table, beside each other. So nice.

9. The Afters

You somehow managed to sit nicely through everything and smile at everyone, even those friends who you felt incredibly guilty about not contacting since college (HOW did the bride manage to keep in contact with everyone) but you know you will have to get through the Afters which will consist of the following: a drunk and inappropriate aunt, a crying mother, the awkward ex we discussed earlier, judging ex-friends. There’s no other solution. To the bar.

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