When you’ve dated all the wrong types, sometimes you can find yourself exploring new opportunities.
Sometimes it’s a Tinder match, sometimes it’s an old friend, or maybe it’s a friend of a friend that you’re still deciding on…
If truth be told, it can be hard to decipher your own feelings – so what if you can see someone is attractive, and you get on well, but you’re missing the butterflies?
While modern-day rom-coms insist we feel the tummy flutters, clinical psychologist and dating author Ramani Durvasula says being sans butterflies isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Speaking to Women’s Health, Durvasula says taking risks and meeting people outside your normal ‘ideal requirements’ could open mean you can be totally yourself:
“I’m not convinced it is a bad strategy, especially if women are experiencing ‘dating fatigue’ and are just looking for someone they can be themselves with.”
While she adds that it’s important you choose to explore your dating options for the right reasons (fear of being alone isn’t on the list – FYI), Durvasula adds that you can build up a very new kind of relationship (once you don’t lead anybody on…)
So what’s the best way to approach dating someone who doesn’t set your tummy in turns?
It’s all about taking your time:
“Give it time and let it breathe — some qualities take time to cultivate.
“If it devolves into something platonic or the sex or intimacy isn’t working, then perhaps you just get a good friend out of it.”
Just remember not to feel guilty if it doesn’t work out.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw – some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.
