Selling your boyfriend to show him how much you care…
Ladies, some of you will agree when we say that it is difficult to find a decent guy. Don’t get us wrong; we know that there are plenty of gentlemen out there but for some members of the Her.ie team life is one very long Jason Derulo song. (That track is Ridin‘ Solo in case anyone missed our hilarious joke).
When it comes to love we all look for different things, or at least that’s what they say. But is it just an old cliché and all we really want is someone to snuggle up to on a cold winter’s night and watch Love Actually with us as we stuff our faces with comfort food and lounge in his oversized jumper? If so then this next guy ticks all of the boxes.
The following information was sent into our brothers over at JOE.ie earlier today and we couldn’t help but find it very interesting.
One 24-year-old gent, who shall remain anonymous, got in touch with the lads after his on-off girlfriend expressed her love for him, via an advert.
Yes, an advert. ‘Boyfriend For Sale’ lists all of this man’s great qualities and initially had us wondering just what caused their ‘rocky patch’.
“So me and my girlfriend are on a break at the moment and she wanted to somehow show me how much she appreciated the things I do for her. She created this “advert” and I gotta say its one of the sweetest things that has ever been done for me”.
Okay, pause. So his ex-girlfriend did something really sweet that he wants to share with us.
“I received it in the middle of work and while I don’t mind doing things for her, I did really appreciate being recognised for it. I do love her to bits but we’re going through a rocky patch at the moment,” he continued.
So, the ex put down her feeling in written form, a brave move for anyone to make. Here those feelings are for you to read in full:
“*Insert name here*, 24 year old *insert job here* with a first class degree in being in a boyfriend.
If you’re looking for someone who will put your happiness before his own then look no further, I present to you *Insert name here*…
* Want a hug? He won’t disappoint. He’ll squeeze all your worries away.
* Hungry? He’ll bring you food (without you even asking) AND he’ll even make sure its food you like.
* Hungover? He’ll ask you what you want for breakfast and how many sugars you take in your tea. He’ll tend to all your needs in ways that are more effective than any dosage of paracetamol.
* Not the greatest timekeeper? Oh he’ll wait. And wait, and wait. And even when you’re finally ready he’ll tell you you’re gorgeous and reassure you that you’re worth the wait.
* Moody? He can deal with full on bitch mode and revert you back to happy mode. His techniques are impossible: foot massages, tea, cuddles, poor jokes, kisses and back rubs to mention all but a few.
* Cold? His clothes are your clothes. And don’t worry, he doesn’t even fight for his equal share of duvet.
* Enjoy date nights? Prepare yourself for tea by the fire while he cooks dinner and even remembers what wine you like to go with it. Followed by a romantic movie snuggled up with him on the couch.
* Enjoy romantic comedies? His favourite.
* Enjoy romantic walks? He might not have land but he lives near the sea and he’ll take you there, hug you from behind and tell you how happy he is with you.
* Enjoy nights out? You pick a spot he will follow. Bring a change of shoes too, he’ll carry them.
* Live in the middle of nowhere? He mightn’t be the safest driver but he’ll drive anywhere for you no matter how isolated your humble abode is.
* Work and distance might be a problem? Not a chance. You will be his priority and he will grace you with his presence every weekend. He’ll even come bearing gifts.
* Is your room a constant mess? He’ll sort it. Just tell him what to fold where to put it. His bed making skills might not impress you but what he does under the sheets most certainly will. You come first in his books.
* Stressed? You’ll find his arms around you and he’ll dose you with kisses on the forehead. Your worries are his worries.
* Think you’re hilarious? He’ll laugh. And then you’ll laugh. His smile is infectious.
* Afraid he’s only after one thing? Fear not. Fear meeting his parents a few weeks in instead. But it’ll be okay, they’ll treat you just like he does.
* Dog lover? *Insert name here* loves his dog, and if he can love that dog then he can love any animal, be you big or small.
* Sports enthusiast? Please. He’s a pro.
* Blessed with the gift of the gab? He’ll listen. All night long.
* Looking for a looker? Look no further. You can look at him all day and night and you’ll smile because he’s yours. And equally you are his. His one and only.
* Find yourself being selfish every so often? He’s selfless. Your wish is his command. Don’t abuse it though, seeing him sad will hit a nerve you never thought you had.
Looking for love? Look no further. He’ll love like no other[sic]”.
We must admit, we were divided on this one – a little soppy for some tastes and considered sweet by others.
However, it was another line in the email that we found most interesting.
“I agreed that if this gets published I’d end the break sooner than I was supposed to, so no pressure mr Joe.ie[sic]”.
Interesting, very interesting.
Ladies, we don’t know how we feel about romance after all of this but one thing is for certain, love is definitely blind.
