Money is a divil.
It’s mid-month, payday is a distant memory and we are on our knees. Not to worry, our inner savvy will once again save the day.
Here’s 25 things you can say to justify your current lack of beans.
1. “Sure we may as well go with the cheaper hotel, for the amount of time we’ll be in it. Only a place to lay our heads!”
2. “No we’ll get the pre drinks in at home, no point getting there early to pay €10 for a vodka, soda water and lime”.
3. “I saw a lovely top in Zara – €50. Stuck the nose into Penneys, practically the same top – €15”.
4. “I will in my eye pay €5 for parking. Won’t the walk do us good?”
5. “No, the food there is awful, we’ll bring our own sandwiches!”
6. “We should see will they organise a Trócaire box for us this year…”
7. “I’m so broke I can’t even afford to listen to 50 cent”
8. “Sleep for dinner it is so!”
9. “No you go ahead and get dinner, I’ll meet you afterwards”
10. “How does a cup of tea cost €2? IT’S JUST HOT WATER AND LEAVES!”
11. “I’m just saying, I can completely understand why people illegally download films in this day and age”
12. “Lads, Pot Noodles aren’t actually that bad”
13. “I’ll buy unrecognisable-brand cleaning products, I’M NOT A SNOB”
14. “Oh sorry, my card won’t work? Weird. There’s definitely money in the account!”
15. “I’ve a jar full of coins at home, I must empty that out now and see what’s in there”
16. [In Tesco] “Do you do a student discount?”
17. “Honestly, I think McDonalds’ Euro Saver menu is the best thing to come out of that recession”
18. “Might as well spend my last €5 on the Lotto. I can feel it in my waters. I’m due a win”
19. “WHY DO WE HAVE TO PAY FOR WATER?”
20. “I will in my back pay extra for guacamole!”
21. “What’s the criteria you have to meet for Meals On Wheels?”
22. “Why don’t relations send you money in the post for your birthday anymore?”
23. “Actually, you don’t even need money to have fun. I’m going to read a book now for the weekend”
24. “I honestly think I have the skills to rob a bank and get away from it”
25. “I should move home for the weekend. They’ll feed me and I can pet the dog”
