There is nothing like a first date to put your mind into overdrive. Major overdrive. The highs, the lows, the stress, the uncertainty. It’s like one long train of crazy thoughts.
Here are 17 things that go through the head of every woman on a dinner date.
1. What if he looks nothing like his photos?
Maybe I should have swiped left and avoided this entire situation.
2. Am I talking about myself too much?
Oh God, just shut up.
3. I can’t eat anything messy. Or smelly. There might be a shift.
God, I’m starving.
4. When is he going to offer me one of those chips?
This salad is not going to cut it.
5. OK, now he needs to shut up.
Seriously. I only asked him one question. I can’t even remember what it was now.
6. Is it too soon to ask for another glass of wine?
I don’t know why we didn’t order a bottle. Note to self, always get the bottle.
7. I need to go to the bathroom so I can Whatsapp the girls.
Do I wait for a natural pause in the conversation, or just go ahead now? Has he finished that story yet? This is awkward.
8. Have I been in the bathroom too long?
Oh crap.
9. This guy is actually quite funny.
Or have I just had too many glasses of wine?
10. Wait, don’t laugh at everything.
He’s not that funny.
11. I wonder if we’ll go on another date
Nah. Maybe. Actually, no. I have no idea.
12. Is he getting cuter or have I had too much wine?
It’s probably the wine.
13. I wonder if he thinks this is going well.
How am I supposed to tell? He looks like he’s having a good time. Or is he?
14. I wonder if he’s a good kisser.
Do I want him to kiss me? I wonder many people he’s texting?
15. Will I offer to pay?
This is so awkward.
16. Is he going to kiss me?
What if he doesn’t try to kiss me at all? Oh, here we go. He’s kissing me. Wow, I am not sober.
17. I wonder if I’ll hear from him again…
Whatever. He wasn’t that funny anyway. Next.
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