We’re all for recycling here at Her Towers.
Just not when it comes to your ex.
While the idea of going for a quick trip to the boneyard without increasing your “number” is very appealing, you will inevitably wind up confused, embarrassed and underwhelmed.
Here’s why ex-sex shouldn’t be a thing.
1. It’s never as good as you remember
Remember how good the sex was? It wasn’t actually that good. You need to lower your expectations.
A little bit lower.
One more time.
There ya go.
2. Those old habits still annoy you
He still leaves the drawer open when he takes out the lube. It’s so simple. Why won’t he close it? You hate him.
3. No surprises
You know EXACTLY what to expect. Where’s the fun in that? And if there IS a surprise….
4. Where the f*ck did he learn that?
You do not want to think about who he’s been with since you. You do not want to think about whether or not she’s good in bed. It’s none of your business…
WHO IS SHE!?
5. He doesn’t feel the need to impress you
Getting you over the mountain is not his top priority here. Neither is grooming, evidently. Meet the Sascrotch: monster pubic hair.
6. Someone will cry
You’re both making noises of pleasure, joy and contentment. Wait, was that a sniffle? Is this mournful sex? No, stop.
7. No post-sex snuggles
Sometimes the snuggles really are the best part. The only thing worse than no snuggles? Unwanted snuggles.
8. The awkward goodbye
Ok. So that was lovely. See you soon maybe, probably not, I’m easy breezy. Whatever. Bye. *cries behind the door.*
9. Judgemental friends
Friends really turn into judginators in this situation. In fairness, they have a right to since they were the ones mopping up your tears when you guys broke up.
10. You realise you have NOTHING to talk about.
“So… how’s your mother?”
11. That moment he gets a new girlfriend.
You no longer have your booty call. And you have to pretend to be happy for him.
