Ah the almost nightly battle that eventually descends into each of you mindlessly scrolling on your phones and watching exactly NOTHING despite an entire internet of choice out there.
Every couple has an unspoken watershed about when it’s deemed too late to start a movie, depending on age, kids and general crapness this can be anywhere from 8-11 pm. If a movie’s out for reasons of time constraints, in theory it should be easy to pick from any of the literally hundreds of quality TV dramas we’re being bombarded with these days, but it’s not – wasn’t it just a bit easier when TV was shit? When it was simply a choice between Six Feet Under and that other show?
Now that TV is so good, there’s pressure on us to be bettering ourselves in some way through the watching of foreign subtitled drama programs or documentary series’, when all we yearn for is a return to the simple days of Felicity (pre-haircut obvi).
10 truths about choosing what to watch as a couple:
1. He will float the idea of Lost in Translation at least once a month, it is like the sound man’s sanctioned porn. They’ll pretend it’s all for Bill Murray, and we know it’s partly for Bill Murray but it’s MAINLY for ScarJo’s ass.
2. Men don’t seem to like Gilmore Girls. This is baffling frankly. Perhaps they talk too fast.
3. You may start SEVERAL movies and abandon within the first ten minutes. Is it just me, or is Hollywood just remaking the same three remakes all the time now?
4. They NEVER want to watch Steel Magnolias. Their loss, it’s a gem.
5. They ALWAYS want to watch Boogie Nights which suits us just fine actually….
6. They WILL become hypocritically irritated when they realise why we want to watch Boogie Nights.
7. They will expect rewards for watching The Notebook, just close your eyes and think of Ryan Gosling.
8. YOU will be rewarded for watching Star Trek which is cool because Star Trek is boss, so it’s a win-win.
9. When you do finally agree on something the streaming will crap out, and you’ll be left watching the spinny circle thing which is still better than the Michael Bay film he wanted to watch.
10. The best entertainment harmony I’ve found is to curl up together and snuggle while he watches “the match”, and you listen to Serial on your headphones. I believe the medical term for this is ultra married. It may be time for an affair. OR better watch The Affair. It’s brill.
