If you have ever had the experience of working abroad, you will be aware that offices in other countries work slightly differently than in Ireland. There is certainly a lot less cursing to start. Here are ten things that will happen in an Irish office.
1. The Chats
Admit it, you start at 9am but you never really begin your work until about 10.30 because you had to have the morning chats. “Did you watch the Apprentice last night?” or “you’ll never believe what happened to me last night!” Does anyone really start work at 9am?
2. The Tea
Nothing starts in an office without tea. Nothing. Every single task must be accompanied by this line: “Sure, we’ll grab a cup of tea first and then have a chat about it.” Even if you are being fired, this is normal procedure.
3. Food and Food Discussions
Person 1: “Are you going for lunch?”
Person 2: “No I brought my lunch in today, I made a great curry last night and have loads left over.”
Person 1: “Oh lovely, well I might head down to the shop for a sambo.”
Person 2: “Oh you know where you should go! There’s this great place…”
And so on and so forth.
4. Hangovers
Inevitably someone decided they didn’t really like Monday as a day and went out for a couple of drinks. However, a couple of drinks turned into about 14 drinks and now they are hanging off the edge of their desk with a smell of booze around them. You can’t really laugh though, that was you last Tuesday.
5. Tired People
There is always one person who went hell for leather over the weekend and they are now in the two day hangover phase. They are usually sitting near or beside the guy who has a newborn and hasn’t slept for about ten days. Both will be asleep on their desks by 3pm.
6. The Dosser
“Has anyone seen Andy?” Well, not for about six hours. Why? Because Andy does nothing. Does Andy still work here??
7. Clothes
“So I have these shoes, but they don’t really go with that dress, you know what I mean? So I bought these other shoes, but I was thinking if you had those shoes from the wedding you went to, would I be able to borrow them? Yes, for the lilac dress. I know, it’s really nice. I love that dress…”
8. Slagging
Fortunately or unfortunately, there is always an office clown and generally, there is always an office fool. Somehow they both make a perfect couple in the office and spend the day either slagging the other off, or defending the other. We classify this as “banter”.
9. Cursing
The Irish abroad will really feel the difference with cursing. In most offices, cursing or venting through cursing is pretty commonplace. If you lost all the work on a project you had been working on, it is perfectly acceptable to scream “F**K”. This is not really the case abroad and there is a slight adjustment period.
10. Rumours about couples that are not couples
It always happens that someone is a little more flirty with someone else in the office, and while they may not be seeing each other outside of work, the rumours start, and then the questions, “What IS going on between you and Justin?” The answer will always be “nothing”, but that doesn’t stop the gossip.
