As a nation, we kind of have a tendency to tell little white lies a lot. We like to pretend that they’re not exactly a big deal because they’re only little lies and sure, we aren’t hurting anybody. Some of these are useful so we won’t hurt anybody. Here are ten of our favourites…
1. Ah, I’m grand.
You could have fallen down a flight of stairs and broken pretty much every bone in your body but you will still hop up immediately professing that you are absolutely “grand.”
2. I only had two drinks.
No, no, no you had two drinks BEFORE you left the house but you’re certainly not going to tell your mother that. No way.
3. No, I’ve it all done now.
You really haven’t got it all done but if you tell them you have it all done, you can go home and panic about not having it done.
4. It wasn’t that expensive.
Honestly, I got this on sale. It cost me about twenty euros… plus another one hundred and fifty.
5. Wow, that is a really cute baby.
You can never, EVER tell a woman that her baby is not cute. Never. You just have to fawn over that little bundle of joy for a few minutes to keep everyone happy. It’s better than getting a black eye if you admit that he/she is not cute.
6. No, honestly, you look amazing.
Ever been asked how do I look by someone who is not your best friend? Lie, goddammit, LIE!
7. It wasn’t me.
It was that ghost I was telling you about, remember? I wasn’t even here. Then RUN AWAY!
8. Oh my god, thank you so much! I LOVE IT!
Ah, the standard Christmas/birthday/anniversary lie. Just try really hard to keep that smile painted on to your face. It will be worth it.
9. I’m 29.
You’re 30. Let it go.
10. Just give me five minutes…
Realistically, it’s going to be ten minutes but you won’t wait that long. So it’s going to be five minutes. You know, plus five more minutes.
