Bad news for girls who like love on top.
A study by Ann Summers in the UK has revealed that the second most popular position is the female being on top of a male, but sadly it seems this position is also the most likely to cause a fractured penis.
The research, published in Advances in Urology, stated:
“Our hypothesis is that when a woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration because the harm is usually minor in a woman with no pain but major in the penis. [sic]
“On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it.”
Medical records in the UK also indicate that the position is responsible for more than half of all penile fractures.
Those who have experience of the injury claim they heard an audible crack before feeling swelling and pain.
Alan Parke famously spoke to The Mirror when he broke his willy during a romp with his girlfriend.
“I’ve never known pain like it,” he said.
We were just having sex, I was on the bottom and Clarissa was on top.
“All of a sudden, I heard something snap. I’ve never known pain like this, it was absolutely excruciating.
“Clarissa was trying to calm me down because I was jumping around. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.
“We went to Letterkenny General Hospital and the doctors there said it was the first time they’d ever seen anything like it.
“They sent us to Galway where I was told the penis was fractured.
“There’s no bone in there but I was still told it was a fracture. There was blood everywhere, I couldn’t control it.”
“I was off work for eight weeks, in bed the whole time,” he said.
So if you want to avoid a wonky willy, best try something else.
