Going Out? You Might Want to Avoid the Following

So you’re getting ready for a great night out dancing and drinking with your friends. The key is not to ruin it.

To help you the Her.ie team got together to formulate ten rules for you to follow. You and your friends can thank us later…

1. We don’t care if he needs to know that you still love him and you’re upset that he’s moved on. We also don’t care if she’s your best friend and you want to thank her for not telling everyone you almost brushed your teeth with hair removal cream. Under no circumstances should you make a drunken phone call or leave a drunken Facebook message during a night out. Unless of course you want to spend the next day apologising to people.

2. Never take your shoes off during a night out. Firstly, people don’t need or want to see your bare feet. Secondly, chances are you are taking your shoes off because your feet are sore. What’s worse is trying to squeeze your feet back into your high heels! Thirdly, you are most likely going to get stamped on or step on a piece of glass. Casualty is not a sign of a good night out.

3. Yes people do it in the movies all the time but having a dance-off in the middle of a club in Dublin is not cool. In fact we would go so far as to say it is very uncool. You’re not a professional dancer. There isn’t enough room. You’re not starring alongside Sean Patrick Thomas in Save the Last Dance. There will be no applause at the end of it. Don’t do it!

4. Screaming “ooht ooht” during a dance song is one of the most annoying things anyone can do anywhere, period. While it is arguably a rite of passage when you first start going out, it should not be continued past the age of nineteen. Plus you have that awkward thought of when to stop doing it. Trust us, you don’t want to be the last person making that noise.

5. Don’t get us wrong, we love nothing more than a good chuckle when we’ve had a few drinks. In fact we can enjoy a good tear-inducing laughing fit whilst perfectly sober in the office but laughing uncontrollably at every slightly amusing thing on a night out is ridiculous. While you do have as much right as everyone else to do what you want, within the realms of legality of course, have a bit of consideration for those sitting next to you. 

6. It happens to all of us at least once but do avoid it if you can. I am talking about crying. If you feel tears coming go to the cloakroom, collect your coat and go straight home! Do not pass go, do not collect €200, just get home and let it all out. When you cry in public it’s not a) pretty, b) nice for those around you, c) like in the movies. There will be no reconciliation kiss in the pouring rain, there will only be humiliation and more tears.

7. Ladies we understand the plight of having to carry your handbag everywhere on a night out but taking it off your shoulder and dancing it is not the wisest of things to do. Not only is there the very likely chance that something will fall out or get broken, it looks like some weird handbag-worshipping cult. In other words it’s stupid!

8. Try not to torture your friends by taking lots and lots of photos. By all means take your camera with you and take some snaps of the night but clicking away every second of the night will annoy your friends and spoil your own night. Also, as everyone knows, as the night goes on the photos will get worse and nobody wants to see that on Facebook.

9. Not only is it an unbelievably stingy thing to do but it is also very dangerous. Stealing other peoples’ drinks could land you in all sorts of bother from fights to spiking. After all, you don’t know whose drink it is or where it’s been. Next time you consider doing it, think about the fact that the person who left it down could have gobbed in it.

10. Do not try to make small talk with the taxi driver on the way home unless you have something interesting to say. For their sake and your own do not utter the question “Have you been busy?” While you’re at it, avoid “What time did you start?” and “What time do you finish?” Taxi drivers hear these questions a hundred times each shift. We’re pretty sure they’d rather you didn’t say anything at all.

We’re all guilty of at least one of these but as the saying goes, “You live and learn.”