Before we get into the nitty-gritty here, there is one thing that you should know about the Pudsey film that will probably be more important than all of the other information combined: Simon Cowell is the producer. Now, don’t get us wrong here. We appreciate that as a businessman Cowell is an absolute genius. He has single-handedly managed to change the way we approach the music business, most may say for the worse, but he is certainly a massive influence and you really cannot deny that.
However, over the years there have been certain films that have struggled to make it to the big screen, particularly across the UK and Ireland. With the recession and its aftermath, the funding for films has been scarce, especially for those smaller productions that have been trying to get off the ground. To think that a film like Pudsey has been given the go-ahead is not only bewildering, it’s shameful and downright insulting to those who have been struggling within the film industry for years with potentially amazing projects. This all makes the Pudsey film more than a little difficult to embrace. Don’t get us wrong here, the dog is incredibly cute and it’s unfair to direct the abuse at him or his owner which will naturally probably happen but we should all maybe consider trying to stop Simon Cowell.
The plot, or what exists of it, revolves around Pudsey, the winner of Britain’s Got Talent for 2012. Being a bit of a lone ranger, Pudsey finds that he craves the family life after he comes across mother Gail and her children, Molly, George and Thomas. After Gail refuses to let Pudsey stay because the family are moving to the country, they try to give Pudsey to a good home but of course, he escapes and manages to make it to the country with them.
During his time in the country, Pudsey, much like Skippy and animals like that, discovers that the family’s evil landlord has plans to destroy the beautiful farm they live on and set up a shopping centre (you may have seen this before). However, Pudsey is removed from the family home by said landlord before he can inform (yes, inform) the family of the evil plans. Can Pudsey make it back in time to save the village and his family?
Let’s get this straight then. We’re pretty sure that Pudsey the Movie could be used as some form of torture in a future war. The thought of even watching this again would make anyone shiver in fear or develop a twitch. The plot is non-existent and even the greatest dog lover will not be able to get past the fact that Pudsey himself can’t even save his own film with his amazing dancing. It worked fine on a talent show, 87 minutes of cinema screen running time is a very different story. It’s certainly not good enough for children.
In terms of performance, we’re pretty sure most of the company will be shying away from the project in the future. Walliams, who voices the dog, will probably use it in some comedy routine in the future but the people to really feel sorry for are Jessica Hynes, yes, she of Spaced fame and Olivia Colman who is hands down one of the best British actresses working at the moment.
This is not just an awful film, it’s a slap in the face for all good independent British cinema. Stop Simon Cowell, just stop.
