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21st Dec 2015

Man Tells His Wife Not To Spoil Star Wars And Suffers Major Consequences

This fight is all of us.

Megan Cassidy

Okay, so we’re starting to grasp that Star Wars is kind of a big deal.

Even though this staff writer isn’t a major fan, I’m still not going to mess with it.

Spoilers aren’t cool, clearly.

Well, one Reddit user who accused his wife of pulling a “dick move” when she spoiled the movie for the neighbours.

The story posted to the treasure trove that is the “Today I Fucked Up” section and spotted by the folk at Unilad, made us cringe but completely relate.

So we saw Star Wars with a couple friends this evening and went out for some drinks afterwards. While sipping our drinks, we discussed the movie and our reactions. While doing so, our neighbor (who hasn’t seen the movie yet) texts the wife asking how the movie was.

He explains how his wife types out a response full of massive spoilers and shows it to everyone, at which point they laugh and presume she is joking.

She isn’t. She sends.

He continues:

It gets kind of quiet, and I very calmly tell her that was a dick move, in front of everyone. The neighbor instantly responds with some very PC sad texts. Like “Major bummer did you really just tell me the truth? :(((((((((”

She tries to laugh it off, our friends kind of laugh it off. Then the texts keep coming. This is our neighbor who feeds our pet for us while we’re out on vacation, so we know her pretty well. Wife shows another text, worse than bummer one, and tries to laugh it off again. I again say it was really a dick move and we should probably just apologize tomorrow, again in front of everyone, and she unhinges. She explodes about how she doesn’t care, tells me to get a cab ride home, and leaves me there.

Except it isn’t.

I get home, see the wife is asleep, and then go outside to apologize to the neighbor. When my neighbor answers her door, she is obviously sad, and when I apologize for the text she starts tearing up and making excuses for my wife. I say sure, it may be true the wife is not a die-hard Star Wars fan and may not understand these things, but she shouldn’t ruin the movie for you, and gave several good not-spoiler reasons to still see the movie.

I get back into our place, and the wife is up, because obviously she wasn’t sleeping. We argue and we fight, mostly because “I embarrassed her in front of people by saying it was a dick move”. Normally to keep a balance I will concede on some of these things, but I stuck to my guns that she should apologize to our neighbor the next day. The wife doesn’t want to, plays the victim card about how we already bought our neighbor a Christmas present, and it gets pretty ugly from there on out. Divorce is threatened lots of back and forth, and I’m on the couch, writing this.

He concludes: I fucked up by saying it’s a dick move to spoil Star Wars, in front of our friends.