Movies sometimes end in unpredictable ways.
As a consumer of movies, sometimes I feel that I could’ve done a better job at the ending. I fully respect that the writers have a lot of experience and are more qualified, but, respectfully, I know better.
Let’s see some alternate movie endings. Obviously, this contains spoilers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bambi
To preserve our childhood emotions, can we just pretend that Bambi’s Mam didn’t get shot? It was horrific and my fragile little mind couldn’t handle the proceedings at such a tender age. Bambi hysterically calling “Mother?” is forever ingrained in my memory. Let’s erase that by deciding she didn’t die and they all lived happily ever after 🙂
Shrek 2
Unedited image via YouTube.
Sorry, but I’m going to get a bit real here. There is no logical way that a dragon and donkey can successfully reproduce. Genetically, it is impossible and I won’t allow it. Forget other ridiculous occurrences in the film such as a talking ogre and gingerbread man, I’m putting my foot down on this one. The donkey and dragon did not successfully procreate. It is unfathomable.
Avatar
This doesn’t necessarily affect the ending of the film, but the thing that they were all desperately trying to get their hands on was absurdly called ‘Unobtainium’. WHAT. That film was visually spectacular and they decided to compromise the entire premise of the story with a ridiculous name like that. I am outraged. Possible new names include: Jiggylump, Flumptyduff and Jembo.
Home Alone
Unedited image via YouTube.
Could they not just leave him home alone? Kevin seemed happy enough having the run of the place. Frankly, the last thing he seemed to need was a bunch of his family returning to the house and disrupting his routine. Let the boy live. He saved the house from violent burglars, he’s earned it.
Titanic
Unedited image via YouTube.
The ship should not have sank. It was called the unsinkable ship for a reason. The history books may disagree, but I’ve decided that it deserved to stay afloat. People were having a wonderful time, Jack and Rose fell in love, so give them the happy future they so desperately deserved together. (See my exclusive interview with the plank of wood that saved Rose here).
Katy Perry: Part Of Me
Unedited image via YouTube.
Folks, this one is a tough watch. I stumbled across it one sleepless night and let me tell you, I was in bad shape afterwards. The most obvious alternate ending is that herself and Russell Brand don’t get divorced. It was upsetting, cruel and unnecessary. I have decided that they will stay together forever. Troopers.
E.T.
Unedited image via YouTube.
I’m going to be the bad guy here and say that E.T. shouldn’t have gone home. The kids really seemed to like him and he was a good influence on them. There’s no chance their lives weren’t rudely disrupted by his departure. Sure, he can phone home all he wants as long as they have a good phone plan, but his home base needs to be on Earth.
Inception
Unedited image via YouTube.
Frankly, I’m not entirely sure what happened in the end of this movie. I’ve watched it three or four times and I am still baffled. So, I’ve decided the film should end with Leonardo DiCaprio going back in time to budge Rose over on the plank of wood at the end of Titanic, should my previous alternate ending be disregarded and the boat actually sinks. That way they both live forever. Simple.
