A few weeks ago we introduced you to the McGargles, the newest family in Irish brewing. As luck would have it I’ve been given exclusive access to speak to the matriarch of the family – Granny Mary. I took the opportunity to get her opinion on some of the biggest celeb news of the year. After all, who better to ask than a no-nonsense Granny?
After a choppy ferry ride and a short walk I arrived at the McGargles house, following her son Papa Joe’s not-so-helpful instructions to “follow the smell of hops”. I settled in by the fire to warm up, and when silence fell on the room I knew Granny Mary had arrived.
I stood up to shake her hand and she shoved a bottle of McGargles into it, muttering “belt that down ya”, and as we sipped our beers, I showed her some of the most famous (and infamous) selfies of 2013. Here’s what she had to say:
Jessie J
“What’s a selfie?”
We took a moment to explain to Granny Mary what a selfie was and continued with the pictures.
Kelly Brook
“She’s the spit of my granddaughter Gravy Maevey, with fewer tattoos”
Rita Ora
“Why would she take a picture of herself? What’s wrong with these scallywags?”
Cara Delevingne
“My late husband had a wobbly eye too. Always used to say: “One’s looking at you, one’s looking for you”
Kim Kardashian
“Could rest a few pints on that, not like my bony auld arse.”
Rihanna
“Is that Gravy Maevey again? Looks like one of her holiday photos”
Heidi Klum
“What’s wrong with that man’s face? Hang on I left my glasses down…”
Madonna
“I should invite her down the bingo, she looks like great craic”
[Granny Mary has fallen asleep]
So there you have it. Granny Mary’s wise words. Soon I’ll be asking her for her opinions on red carpet disasters and some sage advice on celebrity relationships, but for now I’m off to find a hotel. Turns out ferries to Leannclann only run once a week, wish me luck!
To meet the rest of this dysfunctional, yet fully-functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out, www.mcgargles.com.
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