Avril Lavigne was gas.
She fueled many a teenage angst with her haphazard ways and blatant disregard for societal norms, the gas bitch.
I learned a lot from Avril and I’d imagine I wasn’t alone.
You Can Never Use Too Much Eyeliner
Avril seemed to take it upon herself as a daily challenge to see how much eyeliner she could pollute her delicate little eyes with. She was the closest thing to a panda that I’ve ever encountered. During my early teenage years of experimenting with different attitudes and makeup techniques, I felt comforted when my eyeliner drifted down to my nose because that’s what Avril would’ve wanted me to do. The gas bitch.
Fingerless Gloves Are Important
[Image via Picky Wallpapers]
Our Avril was extremely partial to a fingerless glove. Being from Canada, she’s no stranger to cold weather, so it’s surprising that she would advocate a frostbite-inducing way of life. But that’s her business. A large portion of my peers sported the fingerless glove look for far longer than it deserved. Claire’s Accessories had an impressive range, fair play to them.
Songwriting Is Easy
Avril Lavigne is a wordsmith and we are not worthy of her deep and meaningful lyrics. She’s left quite a legacy behind her with gems such as “He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?” and “Sometimes I get so weird, I even freak myself out”. Truly inspirational.
Smiling In Photos Is Overrated
Despite having slightly above average teeth, Avril taught us that it’s perfectly acceptable to look like a moody little wagon in photographs. In fact, it’s often a bit nicer than looking like a human reincarnation of the moon emoji. Sometimes a hint of a smile is all your fans need 😉
Don’t Dismiss Boys With Skateboards (Or Bicycles)
[Pic via YouTube]
The deeply influential hit “Sk8er boi” did nothing but wonders for gender equality at a time when it was so desperately needed. The song tells the story of a girl refusing to entertain the possibility of dating a skateboarding male, so Avril jumps in and takes him. Avril has the last laugh because now he’s a “superstar, slammin’ on his guitar”. (Important note: The “Sk8er Boi” was actually on a bike in the video.)
You Must Straighten Your Hair To Within An Inch Of Its Life
Hair str8eners were big business when we reached PAL (Peak Avril Lavigne). Her hair was always dead straight so naturally our bushy Irish locks had to achieve the same finish or life was over. I once witnessed my own sister take to her hair with an iron, laid flat out on the ironing board. It was a sight to behold.
Never Let Anyone Touch You
[Pic via Breathe Heavy]
The summer before last, Avril did a meet and greet with her fans in Brazil. They apparently paid up to $400 for this exclusive event, but were then told that they couldn’t touch her. Hilarious. This resulted in what I consider to be some of the most awkward photographs on the internet, which you can view in full here.
Sometimes A Couple Can Simply Be Too Powerful
When two heavyweight forces of the music industry – Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger – got married, I was worried. How can two massively influential and respected characters combine their lives in hold matrimony? Impossible, I thought. And I was right. Sadly, the pair separated in September, proving that the dream team is not always feasible. RIP Chavril.
