In 2013, Her.ie reader Maria Greenaway had a crisis of confidence when it came to her life direction. Twelve months later, she tells us how she turned the tide…
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It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was sitting in a cold south London apartment, feeling so homesick, working a job I hated, ‘chasing’ a ‘dream’ I wasn’t even sure I wanted anymore, and being generally miserable and broke. I could never have even comprehended that I would be where I am now; living in Dublin, back in college, working a job I adore, chasing a career (not a dream) that I couldn’t want anymore if I tried, and being happier than I can remember. I may still be broke as hell, but, somehow it doesn’t matter anymore.
A year ago, I was “Maria: an aspiring actor living the high life in London”, or that’s what I wanted people to think. I mean, I had an agent, I was going to auditions and castings, hell, I had just had new headshots taken! In reality, I was miserable, lonely, and unfulfilled, only I didn’t know it. I was clinging on to the dream of success. Fooling myself that my “big break” was just around the corner. My lowest point was getting fired from my horrible call centre job, along with ten other people. I remember waiting for my train and just laughing, because if I didn’t laugh, I was going to cry.
It wasn’t until a flying visit home to visit my new niece that the penny finally dropped. I wasn’t happy. It’s amazing how a quiet drink down the Glen with your brother can literally change your life. He asked me a simple question, “How’s life?”, and I couldn’t answer. What could I say? “Oh, you know, rubbish.”? Eventually, I gave the Irish answer to everything, “ Ah, grand”, but he saw right through it. We started talking about what I might want to do, and before I knew it I was considering a career change. No, a life change. I did my research that night, looking into courses I might want to consider, and the next day I announced to my unsuspecting family that I was considering a career in… LAW. They were super supportive, if not a little shocked by my revelation. I flew back to London that night, and the rest was like whirlwind.
I applied for a place on a course in Dublin on the Tuesday morning, woke up to an email of acceptance on Wednesday morning, had more or less sorted out a loan by Thursday, and had decided I was moving back to Ireland by the weekend. A week later I had said goodbye to all my London friends and was on the ferry back to Dublin with my whole life packed into a few suitcases. My brother and sister-in-law graciously agreed to put me up for the duration of my course, without them, none of it would have been possible.
Two days after returning to Dublin, I received an email from one of my close friends in London, with details of a possible job with the company her mother worked for, in their Dublin offices. I got my C.V and cover email together, crossed my fingers and pressed send. Two weeks later I was offered a job as a court logger in the Criminal Courts here in Dublin, with training starting the following week. To say I landed on my feet is an understatement. Within a month, my world was flipped upside down. A new city, a new job, a new path.
Maria bit the bullet and moved home to start on a new career path
If you had told me this time last year I’d be where I am now, I would have laughed at you. But here I am, I’m half way through the first year of my course, working when I can, and learning as I work. I’m happier in myself. I see a clear path ahead of me, and I’m following it. Sure, I may be 27, broke, and living with my brother, but my mind is fixed on my future. Nothing is going to get in my way. All it took was a leap of faith.
Maria Greenaway
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