We have been told by the Government that we are apparently on the verge of exiting the EU bailout. Today, Noonan and Howlin issued the latest budget but we thought we could do a better job of it.
Here are twelve of our very own proposals to pull the country out of debt…
1. Images Accompanied By Philosophical Quotes
To all the Plato and Socrates wannabes that pollute the Internet.
5 cent per philosophical sunset. Total Revenue – €2Million
2. Love/Hate Impressions
50 cent for every time ‘Coola Boola’ is thrown into a coversation. Total Revenue – €5Million.
3. Galway Girl
1 cent for every time Mundy’s version on a night out. Total Revenue – €9Million
(Two Her.ie Galway girls were overruled on this decision).
4. Inspirational Quotes
2 cent per inspirational quote. Total Revenue – €11Million.
5. Late Late Show Competition Phone-lines
Competition call price up 10 cent. Total Revenue – €15 Million.
6. Check-ins
The Garda could probably cut back on staff; everyone’s whereabouts are online.
€1 for every 10 check-ins. Total Revenue – €20Million.
7. Self-promoting Retweets
There are a lot of self-praising folk out there. A LOT.
25 cent for every RT. Total Revenue – 45Million.
8. Allusive Facebook Status Updates
Oh really, ‘things are about to get interesting…’ are they?! Yes, yes they are…
Vague Facebook status, 5 cent per post. Total Revenue – €55Million.
9. Selfies/FeínPhic
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
#SixCentsPerSelfie Total Revenue – €60 Million.
10. O’Neill’s Balls
Think about… The GAA are rolling it in.
Cost to increase €1 per ball. Total Revenue – €70Million.
11. Barry’s Tea
Each Bag of Barry’s to increase by 1 cent. Total Revenue – €99Million.
12. Coppers
10cent of every €10 admission goes towards the Budget. Total Revenue – €Trillions.
