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Life

12th Oct 2013

“We’re Just Friends” The Nine Rules For Celebrity Dating

There is definitely a manual for this somewhere...

Sue Murphy

There is a certain way that celebrities conduct their love affairs and certain rules that they all seem to obey. We’re pretty sure there must be a manual somewhere that they are following. Here are the nine rules to celebrity dating.

1. You can only date someone as famous as you

Of course, there are exceptions to that rule but mostly, as soon as you become really famous, you must accessorise yourself with someone just as famous as you. We’re pretty sure there are speed dating events depending on how big a celebrity you are.

2. Stick to your industry

If you’re a pop singer, stick with pop singers. In the movie business, you need to date either an actor/actress or director. It’s just easier that way.

3. Start hanging out pretty much everywhere.

Spotted at cafe! What are these guys doing hanging out together?

4. Flirt on the Red Carpet/Public Event

Look at Person A and Person B flirting on the red carpet! What is going on here?

5. Deny, Deny, Deny

Oh no, we’re just friends. There’s nothing going on here at all.

6.  Get spotted leaving their house

You need to look as dishevelled as possible, preferably carrying a gym bag at about 7am.

7. An insider reveals…

Call your publicist. Get them to give an anonymous tip to the papers that you have been together for a while now and are getting on really well.

8. Go to an event by yourself

Person A was spotted on the red carpet by themselves last night but where is Person B? Is there really nothing going on here? They were particularly coy in interviews.

9. Announce your relationship

These days, you absolutely need to have an Instagram/Twitter account and make the announcement yourself. Skip the publicist. Why are you paying her/him all that money?

Shocked faces all round. Not really.

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