When we were younger, we couldn’t wait to get out of the nest. We were only dying to get out to college or out into the working world and move in with our friends. But then, the real world happened and we realised that adjusting to life with a housemate was far worse than living at home.
1. The Non-Cleaner
Can you hoover the place? What do you mean you don’t know where the hoover is? Yes, of course we have a hoover! It’s in the cleaning press. What do you mean you never knew we had a cleaning press?!
2. The Excessive Cleaner
Oh sorry, the swallowing slowed me down. I didn’t really need that glass I was drinking from, I know you wanted to wash it. Sorry, can you stop dusting me while I’m sitting here, I’m trying to watch the television. Yes, the television looks dusty.
3. The Late Nighter
Look, we are all fond of a bit of a late night every now and then but sometimes those night owls can drive us all a bit stir crazy. It’s 4am, could you PLEASE turn off the TV, boot out your mates and go to bed?!
4. The Early Riser
These guys are worse than the late nighter group, especially when you have had a late one and they’re pottering around making bloody eggs at 7.30m… on a Saturday. Spawn. Of. Satan.
5. The Quiet One
Person 1: So how’s the new housemate?
Person 2: I don’t know, I haven’t really seen them.
Person 1: Oh?
Person 2: No, he doesn’t leave his room. Ever. In fact, not sure he’s even there.
6. The Lodger
There’s always one, isn’t there? That person who invites their boyfriend, their parents, their friends and the rest of their extended family to your house to live with you. How many people have you actually moved in with? Leave my house!
7. The Smoker
Smoke outside, no problem. Smoke in the house when we are not there? We can still smell it!
8. The Stealer
You’re not imagining it. You did buy a new make-up foundation and that is the very one that your housemate is now using. But sure, you’ll never confront her about it. You just pretend you didn’t see anything.
9. The Non-Existent One
Do they still live here? We haven’t seen them in weeks.
