You always pretend like you are not too bothered that you are turning a year older, but face it, it’s just another excuse for a party. Here are eleven things that will always happen on an Irish birthday.
1. Your birthday falls midweek, so you must have a couple of drinks after work
And let’s be fair, you’re not going to get time off work during the week so this is not the greatest of ideas, but you still go for it and end up asleep on your desk the next morning.
2. With a midweek birthday, this means you get a week long celebration
The week long celebration will eventually culminate in a weekend binge which will leave you somewhere on the border of Mayo and Galway without a clue how you ended up there. Which weekend? The weekend before or the weekend after? No, let’s just go for the entire week.
3. If it’s the summer, you get a BBQ
Well, if you know an Irish summer, this inevitably means you will be drinking in the kitchen for the day while your poor Dad stands under an umbrella in the back garden.
4. The Cards
No one sends cards anymore, except for that aunt who insists on sending you a sweet “we love you, happy birthday” card along with a t-shirt that you will never wear.
5. Facebook
You will secretly check Facebook all the live long day, although you are pretending that you are not checking it constantly. Then will come the big announcement: “Guys, you are all amazing! Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes.” So popular!
6. Your Mom Will Cry
Along to this line “My little girl is all grown up!!” Christ, time to leave the house!
7. Fake Enthusiasm Over Presents
Sure, you got that money off your folks and a few keepsakes from friends that were absolutely amazing, but did you really want another bath set? No is the answer. No.
8. Someone Always Returns from Abroad
It was meant to be a big surprise, but when your best mate surpisingly stopped talking to you a few weeks ago, you knew something was up. Lo and behold, the night of your party, your best friend walks into the pub off a flight. Cue a lot of tears, and shots at the bar.
9. Preparation for the Big Night
There will be photos. Lots and lots of photos. So off you go to get your hair done, nails, fake tan, you buy a new dress, that you will never wear again. All in aid of that one photo you can use as your profile pic.
10. The Cake
On occasion, you will get a cake to remember. If you are a fan of the Muppets, Batman or Spongebob Squarepants, you may be lucky enough to get one of the wonderful Tesco range.
11. Completely Embarrassing Display in Work
You love your work mates, but at some stage they will break out the cake, form a circle around your desk and sing Happy Birthday to you. Admit it, you love the attention.
