Ireland, am I right?
There’s a lot of things we say in Ireland that make little to no grammatical sense. I like to think of it as a special little bond that we all have with each other, it’s cute.
To those who are not of Irish descent, it’s often a troubling time visiting Ireland. We are essentially speaking in tongues and they are left baffled and confused by what we are saying. I feel for them.
So, to help those non-Irish natives out, here’s a handy list to facilitate trying to decode our language.
1. “I will yeah”
Perception: Fantastic, this person is going to help me to the best of their ability.
Translation: I have absolutely no intention of carrying out that task whatsoever. Variation: “I will in my back”.
2. “She has some neck”
Perception: Wow, that lady has a fantastic connecting appendage between her shoulders and head.
Translation: She is a brazen and cheeky little wagon.
3. “That’s Grand”
Perception: That is something very impressive and luxurious.
Translation: It’ll do.
4. “A good bit”
Perception: A prime selection of something, the best part.
Translation: Loads. I want loads. Don’t skimp on me.
5. “The tea is wet”
Perception: A sarcastic and humourous remark about the texture of a beverage.
Translation: The tea has been made and is now ready for consumption.
6. “Will you have a mineral?”
Perception: Would you like a solid and naturally occurring inorganic substance?
Translation: Have you any desire for a carbonated beverage?
7. “I’m off to get a few messages”
Perception: This person is going to receive a means of communication from another person.
Translation: I am going shopping.
8. “Would you be well?”
Perception: How is your health at this current moment in time?
Translation: Only an individual that is lacking any real common sense would act in that manner.
9. “Ah you’ll have one”
Perception: A playful gesture, jokingly insisting one partakes in an offering, with no real force behind it.
Translation: TAKE A FUCKING BISCUIT OR I SWEAR TO FUCK.
10. “How bad?”
Perception: The person is worriedly inquiring as to the severity of the situation.
Translation: Things could be a lot worse. Relax.
11. “You’re grand”
Perception: Everything is fine, this person has excused your potential irritation.
Translation: I will happily spend the rest of my life in prison if it means I get to murder you.
12. “Any craic?”
Perception: Goodness. It appears this individual is looking to purchase narcotics.
Translation: I want to hear your most recent source of gossip, immediately.
13. “Go Away”
Perception: Leave the premises immediately.
Translation: I am in shock at what you are telling me, please stay where you are and continue talking.
14.”There’s your man now”
Perception: It appears that your spouse has arrived.
Translation: We were recently talking about that gentleman, and now he is here.
15. “You’re a scut”
Perception: You are the short tail of a hare, rabbit or deer.
Translation: You are a brazen little brat.
16. “She was throwing shapes”
Perception: The lady was propelling various objects at unsuspecting victims.
Translation: She was dancing in a very committed manner.
17. “That’s gas”
Perception: That is an air-like fluid substance which expands freely to fill any space available.
Translation: LOL, that is hilarious.
18. “He’s a ride”
Perception: That gentleman is a journey made via a mode of transportation
Translation: He is a very attractive man.
19. “I ate the head of her”
Perception: This individual is a cannibal who has ingested a human cranium.
Translation: I exchanged some very heated words with that lady.
20. “The road is in shite”
Perception: Livestock have traversed that particular area and left behind their excrement.
Translation: The road is in very poor condition and you may struggle to navigate it. Take care.
