Sure look, in the interest of being transparent, I’ll admit I’ve been in the unfortunate situation of pooping in a toilet that doesn’t flush.
Most people probably have. And like most people, I usually ride out the storm and wait for the toilet to function again.
One woman was not so fortunate when she found herself on a first date recently.
Twitter user @_blotty shared the tale yesterday.
Don’t judge, it could be you.
I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I am a confident, calm and self assured woman…so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I realized I didn’t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can’t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I’d DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Him: you’re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that’s really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
That I’d fished out of his toilet…
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So there you have it.
