If you’re anything like us, chances are you’ll have grown up on a diet of classic Disney films. From Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to Sleeping Beauty we were all pretty mad for stories about beautiful princesses, amazing princes and pumpkins that turn into horse-drawn carriages.
But for all the entertainment these Disney films gave us throughout our childhood, they also gave us some pretty hilarious/bad life lessons.
We thought it’d be a bit of craic to take a look at some of the funniest life lessons we’ve learned from Walt Disney and co. (Disclaimer: we wouldn’t advise adding any of these to your life’s philosophy).
Life lesson #1: If you can’t find a hairbrush, you can totally use a fork.
You might wreck your hair in the process but hey, if it can turn Ariel from mermaid to stylish lady in the blink of an eye, you should probably invest in one of them there “dinglehoppers” as Scuttle the seagull calls them.
Life lesson #2: Never accept food from strangers.
We can’t stress this enough: learn from Snow White’s mistake and never, ever, ever accept food from a creepy old woman in the woods. Chances are it’s poisoned. Also, it’s probably a good idea to take note of the old woman’s behaviour. If she’s being shady as f**k, chances are she wants to kill you.
Life lesson #3: Don’t talk to strangers (unless they’re total hotties).
If Disney has taught us anything, it’s never to talk to strangers. However, it’s totally okay to start a conversation with them if they’re sexy because they’re probably princes and likely to save you at some point in the not-too-distant future.
Life lesson #4: It doesn’t matter what you sound like, as long as you’re pretty you’ll be fine.
Another ‘amazing’ life lesson from Disney comes to us via The Little Mermaid. If you ever lose your voice like Ariel chillax. As long as you’ve still got your breath-takingly good looks, that prince will stick around and save you.
Life lesson #5: Grow your hair as long as possible, it’ll come in handy.
Should you ever find yourself locked up in a tower like Rapunzel in Tangled you’ll be delighted you never cut your hair. Ever. If Disney has taught us anything it’s that a good head of hair can help you to escape from anywhere.
Life lesson #6: It’s totally okay if you’re poor, cause you can steal your way to the top.
Are you a bit stuck for cash? No worries. Make like Aladdin and just blag your way to the top. Want to nab a prince? Lie and say that you’re already a princess. If you get caught doing something you really shouldn’t be doing, just play the ‘lovable rogue’ card.
Life lesson #7: All of life’s problems can be solved by breaking into song.
Evil stepmother trying to kill you? Evil uncle just murdered your dad? No worries. Have a sing and you’ll be totally fine afterwards.
Life lesson #8: Never trust a purple cat…
Oh Alice, you would have been home in an hour if you didn’t listen to that stupid Cheshire Cat. He never knew the way out of Wonderland! He was just screwing with you!
Life lesson #9: … Or your new evil stepmother
If she’s making you sleep on the floor, wear rags and scrub the floors chances are she has it out for you and will try to have you murdered soon enough.
Life lesson #10: Sleeping all day pays off!
Don’t feel like getting out of bed today? No worries. If you lie there long enough a hottie will come find you and give you the shift and you’ll live happily ever after!
