Rewind to 1999 to when my enthusiastic, Fanta filled pre-pubescent figure shimmied all over the gaf to the vocal harmonies of TLC.
Those PVC drapped goddesses had depth. They imparted wisdom on their impressionable audience, and back then, at a mere 10 years of age, I too rejected the possibility of matrimony with a lower socio-economic being. I didn’t want no sponger, I wouldn’t be seen with no scrub.
Upon reflection, it appears as though I now have much more in common with said scrub than I anticipated. It is sadly, but undeniably clear, that I am in fact, one of them. I am the TLC Scrub. Here’s proof.
Always Talking Bout What He Wants
I enjoy sitting around discussing the things I covet in life. I have a healthy pinterest account.
And Just Sits on His Broke Ass
Sitting on ones “broke ass” is the only economical activity possible at the present moment.
So No, I Don’t Want Your Number
I have been to Coppers, I am familiar with this scenario.
I Don’t Want to Give You Mine
The gentle let down, yep been there, been there.
I Don’t Want to Meet You Nowhere
I’ve heard that from a few tinder matches who wanted to skip the romance and just, you know, skippity do-dahh.
I Don’t Want None of Your Time
Is that you TLC or is that the sound of every bouncer in Dublin?
Hanging Out The Passenger Side of His Best Friends Ride
Cars are expensive AF. And as for parking in the city? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Car pooling is my jam.
Trying to Holler At Me
My phones been cut off.
If You Don’t Have A Car And You’re Walking
It’s the healthier option.
If You Live At Home With Your Mamma
Well until I save a 20% deposit I guess I’ll have to.
Wana Get With Me With No Money
Everbody needs cuddles for real though.
Her.ie Presents:
Just Great Songs, available to pre-order now on iTunes and to buy at all good retailers from Friday November 6th.
40 of the BIGGEST hits from the HOTTEST stars on one VERY special album!
Pre-order HERE.
