Ladies, if you normally need a few minutes to feel yourself giving into the throws of passion, then you’ll be relieved to hear what sex expert Emily Nagoski has to say…
According to a piece she wrote in The New York Times, Nagoski believes women’s sex drive is a myth, and should instead be viewed as following “spontaneous desire” and “responsive desire” when it comes to getting hot and bothered between the sheets.
Nagoski, who published her study findings in Medical Daily, believes that 80% of women are more likely to find themselves classed as experiencing ‘responsive desire’ – where they enjoy sex, but don’t necessarily feel in the mood until the throwdown has already started.
The director of Wellness Education at Smith College, Nagoski says that the term sex drive limits the discussion to spontaneous desire – which can leave women feeling uncomfortable about their own sexual appetite if it doesn’t appear quite as hungry as the rumoured ‘normal’.
Writing her piece for The New York Times, Nagoski adds:
“But I can’t count the number of women I’ve talked with who assume that because their desire is responsive, rather than spontaneous, they have ‘low desire’; that their ability to enjoy sex with their partner is meaningless if they don’t also feel a persistent urge for it; in short, that they are broken, because their desire isn’t what it’s ‘supposed’ to be.”
The author goes on to suggest that body confidence, feeling accepted and “(not least) explicitly erotic stimulation” are all factors that add to the breakdown in a woman’s sex-drive.
Proof that the age-old theory, that not everyone is having as much sex as they talk about, is actually probably quite true…
