Here’s a free drink. It will never rain in Ireland again. These are just a couple of things we’d love to hear. But what about the things we don’t like to hear? Oh, there are plenty of those!
You look lovely today
We Irish don’t deal well with compliments. When someone pays us one we tend to deny it completely, say that they look nicer or end up obsessing over why they said such a nice thing to us.
Your accent is so cool
(Please see above)
Remember when…
This is our worst nightmare following a night out. Cue sweaty palms, wide eyes and an overactive imagination going into overdrive.
The bus/train has been delayed/cancelled
Public transport is the bane of our existence and it frequently fails us when we REALLY need to be somewhere on time.
More cuts
We honestly don’t know what’s left at this point.
There’s no teabags/milk/any of the components that make up a cuppa
Tea is a basic in the Irish diet. We have it when we’re happy/ sad/ tired/ freezing/ having a chocolate biscuit. But if one of the components is missing, everything falls apart.
Last call!
But we were having so much craic!
Your NCT/Tax is up for renewal
It’s that time of the year again and we’re broke after paying the electricity bill, the gas bill, our rent. When it rains, it pours.
You’re working the bank holiday weekend
Someone’s got to do but it always seems like you end up working the best one. Damn everyone else and their amazing plans.
We lost
Someone pass us the tissues and don’t talk to us for at least two hours.
There’s going to be rain
We’re not surprised but it still sucks.
You’re Irish? You must love Guinness/ potatoes/ Riverdance
We might well love nothing more than sitting down to a plate of potatoes and a pint of Guinness while watching Riverdance but people should not assume.
Do you know John from Kerry?
This is annoying on two levels because a) we don’t know everyone who lives where we live, and b) there are lots of people called John.
