In a new weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.
From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow one girl’s attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that she finds along the way.
Week Sixteen: Mixed Emotions
Last week, a few of our readers shared their experiences with online dating site Plenty Of Fish and it turns out that you guys have a lot to say on the matter!
We’ve had a good few emails over the past few days with stories about men that you’ve met on the site so we’ve picked another two tales to share. First up is Sharon, who has a lovely story of how she met her other half in spite of the world conspiring against them!
“Hi, I was just reading your article on POF and decided to give an input 🙂
After a four year relationship that flickered out, I was thrown into the deep end of being single. It was scary at first but my friend recommended POF as a distraction and a way to pass some time. I made my account complete with best pics and a short but sweet About Me. I was on it for months and had so much fun! I went on loads of great dates and I am still friendly with one or two guys who were nice but not quite boyfriend material.
I was having so much fun that I didn’t even want to get in a relationship… until this one guy came along. His profile stood out like a sore thumb. He seemed too good to be true. Cool, fun, hot and into everything I am. We chatted for a while but due to a mix-up on POF, my account was deleted. I was gutted I wouldn’t have a chance to swap Facebook details with this guy and although I tried searching his username, I didn’t have any success.
Months later, I got an email from POF to apologise for the mix-up and my account was reinstated. I’d forgotten about my guy but a couple days in, I stumbled across his profile again. I messaged him and he remembered me straight away. We added each other on Facebook and everything checked out. When he asked me on a date, I leapt at the chance.
Our first date began with evening drinks after work and ended with us in a nightclub and staying out chatting till 5am. I never clicked with anyone so much in my life. He kissed me goodbye and sent me home in a taxi and then texted me to make sure I was home safe. Pretty sure it is as close as you get to love at first sight!
Now to this day we are in a long term relationship with our own place, two cats and a very happy life together! We click so well that I can’t imagine him not being in my life. He is the sweetest most thoughtful guy ever. I am actually so grateful I joined POF. Definitely give it a try, you never know!”
Of course, the path of true love doesn’t always run quite so smoothly and Beth’s experience made us more angry with a man that we’ve been in quite some time. The words ‘absolute tosser’ were invented for this eejit.
“I was recently reading your articles online about bad dating stories, and I thought I’d share.
“I’ll take you back a few years when I was fresh out of a long-term relationship. You know the type, where nothing can break you, you feel like it was meant to be, you’re the sickly cute couple in the corner. Well that was us… until it wasn’t.
One day while trying to become the next Julia Childs, I heard the flutter of the letter box and when I picked up the envelope, I realised with dread that it was a wedding invitation… that read ‘Beth and Guest’. Where would I find a plus one?
I recalled a newsreader had been on telly discussing her online dating experiences so two hours later, I had the perfect profile, including a picture of me smiling and looking happy (even if it was two years old), a fun-filled description of myself and my hobbies, and an inviting tag line. The messages starting coming and coming and before I knew it, I could barely keep up.
One guy really caught my eye. He was tall, sporty, great job, ambitious, funny and handsome. I was thrilled and we met several times. He lived about an hour away so longer dates were less manageable, however I did visit his home and meet his friends.
“I can’t believe my luck,” I had said to my friend over Skype, “he’s just amazing”. To me, online dating was the best invention but she was still suspicious.
There’s always that awkward moment in online dating where you can’t be sure where you stand. You log on to read your mail and see the little green dot beside your guy’s profile picture. He’s online! You feel cheated, hurt, how could he… then you realise ‘oh wait, I’m online too’. Cue the talk.
So we had ‘the talk’ and both agreed that we were now an item. We said good night and with a kiss goodbye, agreed to delete our profiles. I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.
Another month passed with more lunches and strolls before my birthday, which we celebrated with a picnic by the river and a framed picture of us from one of our first dates.
He stayed over a few times, usually on a Friday but rarely on a Saturday as he had sporting commitments on Sunday. It was all going great… or so it seemed.
Valentine’s Day was on the way and I decided we’d really pull out all the stops since I had spent the previous year in a bubble bath sipping wine with tears streaming down my face listening to Patsy Cline’s Crazy on repeat.
He suggested dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the beach not far from my hometown. He said he would pick me up and we’d stay in a nearby hotel so I had visions of roses and chocolates and maybe a little box tied with a red ribbon with a special little gift in it just for me.
Dinner was at 7.30pm so by 6.30pm, I was picture perfect. I had donned the little black dress, had my hair blow dried and paid a visit to the beautician. I was ready for the night of my dreams.
By 7pm, I was getting a bit worried. We were running late for dinner and I hadn’t had a text all day. At 7.10pm, I tried to call his mobile but it was ringing out. So, I sent a quick text saying ‘you haven’t forgotten me, have you?’.
There was no reply. 8pm arrived and my head was swimming. Had I got the date wrong? Had we said Saturday instead? Had I missed a text or call to cancel?
I was torn between sadness and humiliation. How could someone do this?
My flatmate was cuddled up on the couch with her boyfriend and they invited me to share their takeaway when she saw I was still standing at the doorway at 9pm, with no text, no call and no explanation.
I awoke two days later to the alert of a new message. ‘I’ve met someone else and you will too one day. Take care’.
Turns out he had – ‘1 New Message’. Online dating, it’s that easy.
I’m thankful to say that after endless dates, I did meet the man of my dreams online and we are now blissfully in love one year on but boy, did I have to date many a frog before I found my prince!”
We want to hear your dating stories! Email us at hello@her.ie or tweet us @Herdotie with the #shiftyfirstdates.
