Ah, we all remember those days… Fifty of us piling into the back of an Audi Estate, heading west for the holliers with our family. We were all so excited about heading out on that first day and then we realised, we had to get over the road trip. Oh, how our parents loved the road trips. Here are sixteen things that always happened on those journeys.
1. The Toilet Checks.
Oh God help you if you got into the back of a car and declared the need to go the toilet half way through the journey. None of that!
“Don’t you DARE get into that car without going the toilet!!”
“But Mam, I don’t need to go!!”
“I don’t care!”
2. The Over-Pack
“What are you bringing all that stuff for?!?! PUT IT BACK” Of course, you were devastated you didn’t bring those 27 Barbie dolls with you.
3. The Window Seat Argument
By God, there was killing for that window seat. There was boots in people’s faces and all sorts of trampling just to be near the window…
4. The Food Dilemma
“Mam, how long more? I’m starving!”
“Well, if you ate your dinner you wouldn’t be starving now, would you?”
5. Waving at… EVERYBODY
“Do you know him?”
“No, but it would be rude not to wave, wouldn’t it?”
Only in Ireland.
6. The Arguments
Four hours road trip in an enclosed space? It was only a matter of time before the bickering started. “LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE!”
7. The Stop For Tea
Finally, your parents just couldn’t put up with it anymore. “Right, that’s it. We’re stopping for tea and sandwiches.” In the States, they have rest stops, here we have hotels.
8. The Car Games
Guess the car make, spot the yellow car, count the cows, wave at strangers… Everything was covered.
9. The “Are We There Yet?”
The boredom quickly set in… With every new mile came the exact same question: are we there yet?
10. The Gay Byrne Silence
God help you if you travelled anywhere while Gay Byrne/Pat Kenny/Joe Duffy was still on the radio and not off on their holliers too. “Keep it DOWN back there, I can’t hear Gaybo!” You know Gaybo… God.
11. The Blessings
“Did you not bless yourself going past that graveyard?!”
“What graveyard?”
“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”
12. Songs You Never Needed Or Wanted To Know
From Big Tom to Country Corner, your parents seemed to seek out the music you knew you would hate the most.
13. Car Sick
“Mam, Roisín’s going to…. Too late. Pull over the car.”
14. The Stop For Dinner
You had no idea why the drive was taking about seventeen hours, but by this stage you could have eaten your own arm off. Another hotel. Carvery. Always carvery. Borris-in-Ossory.
15. The Fighting
Why, as children, were we always made share games with ALL of our siblings?! It inevitably led to about three children kicking each other around the back of a car.
“IT’S MY TURN!”
“Sit DOWN in the back! You’re going to cause an accident!!!!!!”
16. Arrival
By the time everyone arrived at their destination, you just realised you didn’t really like your entire family and this holiday idea was a pure joke.
